SPEAKER_01 0:13

Okay, here's an interesting question. How much do you actually know about losing weight? If you've been trying to lose weight for years, it's probably actually quite a lot. You know that vegetables are good for you, you know that protein matters, you know that moving your body in some way, shape, or form is really important. And you've probably tried more diets than you care to remember. If knowing what to do was enough, why have you not done it already? Why have you not achieved that weight loss? Welcome back to Empower Your Menopause, the podcast all about health, happiness, and hormones for women 14 above. I'm Coach James Ellis, and with me I have Coach Julie Medacy. Yeah, so many women come to the pair of us because they're struggling to lose weight, particularly in midlife. And often they've just reached a point where they feel frustrated, desperate, or even downright hopeless. And they tell us, just tell me what to do. But here's the interesting thing: more often than not, they actually already know. Now, over the past few episodes, we've talked a lot about the things that influence our choices when it comes to our health. We've talked about accountability and what happens when things go wrong. But today we're going to take that one step further because we're not going to give you another list of weight loss rules. Instead, we're going to talk about the gap between knowing what to do and actually being able to do it consistently in your life and why constantly searching for more information, more restrictions, or the next perfect diet might actually keep you stu uh stuck. So information's not the problem, right? It's definitely not an information problem. So, Julie, what actually is this information problem that isn't really an information problem?

SPEAKER_00 1:55

Yeah, well, it's it's interesting, isn't it? Because our social media feeds are constantly giving us more of what we look at. So if you're looking for those special foods to avoid, or some food to add, or the way you need to time your meals, or fasting is better, or your hormones need balance and your blah blah blah. One weird trick, right? We have this miracle supplement and you don't have to do anything. I remember back in the day when they had those electronic things you could attach to your belly and just let them contract your muscles and not do any exercise, and somehow you were supposed to get six-pack abs, right? So we have we have all of this stuff coming at us, and especially for women in midlife now, because menopause is quote, unquote, an industry, just like dieting always has been. So we get all this contradictory advice, and it gives us information, certainly, but it also makes us feel more confused because do I believe that you know eggs are good for me? Do I believe that eggs are bad for me? Do I believe that fasting is good for me? Do I believe that fasting is bad for me? What am I supposed to do? And when we're already overwhelmed, when we're already reaching a point of decision fatigue at the end of most days, it gives us more decisions to make, right? And then when something doesn't work for us, our first instinct is, well, I must not be doing it hard enough. Maybe I need more information about it, instead of saying, what is it about that particular approach or that particular thing that made it difficult for me to implement or that I couldn't do consistently, right? Because we already know this stuff, like you said. I mean, it it isn't it isn't complicated, it's actually pretty simple, but simple is not the same as easy. Not to mention the fact that so many women have already lost weight before. That's important evidence because it means that we are actually capable of losing weight. I know, hands up, me, if you you know had that sort of bouncing back and forth and yo-yo thing going on for all these years, and what's that statistic we we were given from our coaching that uh we say all the time the average woman will do 126 diets in her adult life. It's huge. So we know how to do this, but losing weight isn't the same as creating behaviors that help us maintain that over the the course of our life, right? So what keeps getting in the way?

SPEAKER_01 4:32

Yeah, it's interesting, isn't it? Because the thing that does keep getting in the way is usually real life. We've come up with all these perfect plans of you know, I'm gonna do this, I'm gonna follow this regime, I'm gonna follow that regime. Most plans tend to work if you can stick to them over time. Yeah, we've all we've seen that in the past. The problem is what happens when the perfect plan goes wrong, when real life gets in the way, and how does that affect us? Where does that lead us to after that sort of like real life comes in and gets in the way? So the truth is that knowing and doing are really separate skills, and the plans that most people come up with when it comes to dieting or losing weight, whatever you want to call it, are kind of made for your ideal self when everything's going really well, right? But what happens if you have a night of bad sleep? What happens when you're up against a work deadline? What happens when uh you know you're rushing round to schools have just started here in the UK again, you know, and now I've got a whole world of dad's cabs coming on as I run the building from one sports event or one uh social event to another. So family needs get in the way. You've got to travel for work or you've got travel for pleasure, that gets in the way. You know, how many people actually go on vacation and just put all thoughts of weight loss on hold because they're going on on uh on holidays? Stress gets in the way. You know, women who are challenged by menopausal symptoms, they're all gonna get in the way. You put the perfect plan in place, suddenly you remember that three weeks later into your plan, it's your best mate's 50th birthday party coming up, and therefore that's gonna throw everything into the bin as well. You've not managed to get to the shops, and so you can open the fridge and the fridge is empty, and just simply being really tired, being knackered all the time, is really really challenging, right? So, plans tend to only work when your motivation, your time, and your energy are all incredibly, incredibly high. And I don't know about anybody else who's listening to this, but even for myself who does this for a living, I'm never 100% motivated, I never 100% have enough time, and I am never 100% fully energized. So trying to aim for that perfection is actually a massive challenge, and that's where you know intention needs to become the actual behaviour, right? Rather than searching this perfect plan. So here's an example of that, yeah. I need to eat more protein, that's some information, right? We all pretty much know that now. Tomorrow morning, I'm having Greek yogurt and berries with protein powder, and I've already got it ready for me. That's implementation. So without understanding what that this distinction is, we're kind of just creating more friction for ourselves, and when friction happens, that is when things go down the doo-doo, right? So sometimes the best question is not why don't I have more willpower? It's what is making this harder to do than it actually needs to be. So, you know, it could be your environment, it could be the fact that you've not prepped things properly, it could be the inconvenience of getting food at a certain time, it could be that you've just got lots of other things going on, and so all those kinds of things are challenging when it comes to your decision-making ability. And we had a podcast a couple of weeks ago where we talked about how the environment that we live in actually influences our behaviour, right? So if you've not listened to that one, or you're listening to this, it might be worth going back and just having to listen to that one to get some tips on the environment stuff. But I mean, the truth is, and this is kind of where we would step in as health coaches, and not just us, but any other health coach, any other nutritionist who is worth their salt. You know, when real life does get in the way, that's where support from somebody becomes really, really important. Now we talked a little bit about accountability, well, quite a lot actually on last week's pod, but you know, accountability isn't just about being good, is it? So, Julie, let's talk about this. You've got some thoughts on the fact that accountability's got a really bad PR problem, and it I probably agree with you on that. So, why don't you talk us through that?

SPEAKER_00 9:09

Yeah, because you hear accountability, and I don't know about you, but I I think of somebody scolding me because I was I didn't follow the plan exactly. And and this is where it's great to differentiate one coach from another when it comes to what's gonna give you the most benefit. If you're looking for coaching, which is a great way to get support and accountability, not that we're biased, but um the the truth is that some coaches are gonna say, you have to stick to the plan, and if you don't stick to the plan, then you're the failure, right? And that isn't that isn't doing anybody any good. What we're talking about is not surveillance of every single action you take or judgment, because once in a while you're gonna eat the cookie, you're gonna have a day that just goes off the rails, and that's okay. When that happens, we're talking about um, you know, noticing what isn't working and what is working, because a lot of times I think we discount all of those little things that we are actually doing well and giving ourselves credit. So maybe you had an intention to work out three times and you worked out once. Well, you know, you you didn't fail to follow the plan, right? That would be one of those coaches who's cracking the whip at you. You didn't work out three times, so you have to do extra workouts this coming weekend. No, no, no, no. What about, hey, well done for getting the one workout in? What made that possible and what got in the way of the other ones so that we can maybe look at how to make it easier in the coming week? Because that's not it's information, and I and I think that's the biggest distinction here. It's about getting gathering information, this is all data, and it gives us something to work with so we can do our problem solving together. We can maybe adjust expectations. I mean, we had a couple of clients in in uh one of our sessions who were saying, okay, I haven't worked out in three months, so I'm gonna start three times a week for an hour, you know, and it's it's it's just not it's just not realistic because obviously something was getting in the way. So we make we do what we can to make the step smaller, to make the next step easier to take, and then we look at, okay, and what happens if things don't go according to plan, because life gets very life-y, and we both James and I lately have had a lot of that going on in our own lives. Um, what do we do, and how do we recover when things don't actually go according to plan? And as I said before, recognizing progress because a lot of times we don't see it. It can be very subtle, it can be very small, and every time we build those reps and we do that, the take the step and and get more consistent, it doesn't have to be a big major thing. That change compounds over time, and it can be a really great way to give yourself that boost and help yourself stay more motivated to stay on track. And you know, one of one of the things about this is uh, you know, talking like our client who wanted to suddenly start working out three days a week for for an hour each time, it's another reason why so many attempts to lose weight tend to be impossible to maintain and sustain in the long term because we're trying to change everything all at once and go from zero to a hundred in one step. So you really overhauling your entire life isn't the way to go, is it?

SPEAKER_01 12:37

Well, the other thing as well, I suppose, when it comes to that, is that we're so we have this idea of perfection so ingrained as us as as well that as soon as one thing goes off, most people will just chuck it all in the bin. The whole plan goes, right? And that is really you know, that is the the biggest challenge that happens when you when you're not looking for accountability. And I suppose the message within all this is that you know actually being able to have accountability yourself, or do you have somebody who who will help keep you accountable, it doesn't necessarily mean that you need to overhaul your whole life in able to lose weight, right? So, you know, the classic things that happen all the time is that idea of the Monday mentality, or I'll start when this happens, or when that happens. The kids are back at school, so I'm gonna start to redo my health, get back on track of my health, or I'm gonna lose weight, or whatever your goal may be. Um, you know, I'm gonna try a new diet, I'm gonna try the jabs, I'm gonna try a new exercise plan, I'm gonna cut out alcohol, I'm gonna cut out sugar, I'm gonna start meal prepping, I'm gonna start doing 10,000 steps, I'm gonna get perfect sleep. It's an absolutely massive amount of stuff to do all in one go. And the problem with that is that each new rule that you bring in, whether that be I'm cutting out booze or I'm cutting out sugar, or I'm gonna get better sleep, or I'm gonna exercise more, or I'm gonna try some new foods or whatever it may be, they all add in an extra level of both attention that you need to pay to it and decision making, but they also add in an extra hurdle, right? Because it's another thing you've got to jump over, another hoop that you've got to jump through in order to achieve this perfect plan. So the more of these barriers that we put in front of ourselves, the more likely that we are, just like a horse in a horse race, if you've got 20 jumps all within 100 yards of each other, you know, that horse is likely going to stumble over one, right? Because it's it it it it it will just be too fatigued to do them all all at once, and of course, you know, when that one thing goes wrong, that's when the all-or-nothing thinking comes in that was just talked about before, that makes it all feels uh ruined. So the question really is when things go wrong, what is the next useful thing that I can actually do? And I know we talked about strictness of um old style accountability coaches. The one thing that you shouldn't choose to do at that point is chuck it all in the bin, right? That is not your that's not a useful step to do, right? So that's a useful step, Julie. Tell us about what we can actually do. How can we choose what that next useful step is?

SPEAKER_00 15:27

Well, the next useful step is say, okay, what would I what would I like to be doing right now, and how can I make that happen? And you know, here's a great example because yesterday, after I worked out, I was really hungry, and I realized I didn't have many choices available for breakfast. I hadn't prepared anything that was easy for me to grab because I was pressed for time. And I looked around the kitchen and I ended up having a banana with some peanut butter on it. You know, it's not an ideal breakfast. I mean, the banana gave me back some energy. The peanut butter gave me back some energy. There's some protein in it, but it's more fat than protein. So it's not the ideal breakfast I would have chosen normally because I prefer to get a better dose of protein in my breakfast. But I was hungry, so I said, I'll eat what I have on hand, and I didn't judge myself for it. I needed something in my stomach to get me going in the morning. And on the heels of that, instead of saying, Oh, look at that, terrible breakfast, my whole day is ruined, you know, it was I I didn't get all dramatic about it. And and I'm saying this because I used to get very dramatic about it. If my meals weren't just so, I thought, what kind of a health coach am I? If I'm not eating perfectly, well, guess what? I'm a human. That's the kind of health coach I am. And sometimes these are the choices we have to make. So I made the best choice that was available to me. And then at lunchtime, I made sure to have a nice big salad with plenty of protein on it so that I had a good amount of protein coming into my body. And, you know, then in the afternoon, later, when I was finished with my workday, I just made sure to sort out some better breakfast options for this morning. So this morning I was able to have that bowl of Greek yogurt with protein powder and frozen strawberries that I had um preserved from the summer or the spring uh harvest. So, you know, no drama. I didn't need to compensate. I didn't decide, I'll forget today, I'll start over tomorrow and then just eat everything I could find. Right? So it's the the important thing is to remember, you know, we can take a small step forward, even if we've had a day where we ate the entire bag of biscuits and then we went out for fast food for lunch, and then we had, you know, drinks at the pub on the way home. That's okay. What's the next healthy step you could take? Maybe drinking some water before bedtime and and going to bed early, or setting yourself up for breakfast the next day. Something as simple as putting some walking shoes or workout clothes out of the dresser and someplace where you can just step into them in the morning can make the difference between exercising and not exercising. And I know that holds true with many of our clients. I even myself, the dresser is right across from the foot of the bed, and that's where my workout clothes are. But some days, if I don't have my workout clothes laid out, I don't put them on in the morning. It's that simple. So, you know, that we just repeat those kind of small steps, and then that gives us consistency, it helps us build confidence, and then we find out how you know what works in our lives, and if we get curious, and then when it becomes easier to do or it feels more automatic, we can build on that. So we don't have to do absolutely everything at once, and and yeah, I mean we and that brings us right back to the question we started with, right? How much do you know about losing weight? Probably a lot.

SPEAKER_01 19:03

Yeah, absolutely, and that's why you know, yeah, perhaps people don't really need another diet, right? Because everyone's always looking for this missing secret. It amazes me. We were messaging some people about our new programme the other day, uh, four weeks later, which is a weight loss program for women, 14 above. And somebody came back to me and said, Oh, nobody needs a programme anymore, we're just all on the jabs. You know, so it's almost like people are just looking for a really quick solution. And the truth is, you don't really need a quick solution. You don't need the perfect plan, you don't need the perfect diet, you don't need another list of forbidden foods. You know, maybe the information that you really need is just to be able to sit back and analyze your choices and make sure that you can follow them through next time. Yeah, structure support, accountability, experiment a little bit, adjust when life happens. Yeah, that's when you're building a plan around yourself as a human being rather than expecting human beings to fit a plan, which doesn't always work, right?

SPEAKER_00 20:12

Yeah, yeah, because those plans are not constructed for your particular life. And even if you do choose one of the quicker routes, you're still going to need the support, you're still going to need to understand how you can maintain that in the long run, because otherwise it's going to be this bouncing back and forth without building those lives anyway, right?

SPEAKER_01 20:34

Because you said before, 126 diets, most people are swinging wildly from one thing to the other. And my experience of we've said this before nothing against people who want to use weight loss jabs, that's absolutely within your own prerogative. It's your body, it's your choice, you do what you want. But the truth is, I know so many people right now who will use them selectively throughout the year for certain things, rather than just actually sort of like living life more like a human being and stopping this swinging from sort of like totally restricting themselves from food because let's face it, that's what the jabs are meant to do, restrict your to then just going back to eating whatever they were eating before. So there's no real thought processing beyond that, other than I want to maintain or try and achieve an achievable weight, come what may, rather than actually right, this is real life, and I'm gonna handle real life properly and and more maturely. And that is not like I said, it's not criticism of people on the jabs, it's it's it's a challenge for anybody who is swinging wildly from from diet and restriction to normal eating, diet restriction to not to normal eating. It's a challenge for that.

SPEAKER_00 21:45

Yeah, and it's and there's I mean, there are health consequences to that, especially in midlife, which is why we're so passionate about this. So, whether you choose a diet program, whether you choose to use the jabs, whatever, that's the time when coaching can really help support you and. Teach you how to do this, how to eat well and nourish your body and give it what it needs so that you're losing fat rather than muscle, so that you're um keeping your body healthy, especially through this aging process. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 22:15

So the truth is, you already know how to lose weight. We've got something that can actually help you do that. So next week, on Tuesday the 8th, we're launching our new program. It's called Four Weeks Lighter. So we're not going to give you another enormous list of rules and expect you to rearrange your entire life around them. There's some basic guide rails to go through. Right, Julie, so tell us a little bit more about it.

SPEAKER_00 22:40

Yeah, it's what I love about this program is that we want to help you take what you already know, give yourself credit for what you already know, and then figure out what actually works for you within the context of your real life, and then spend four weeks putting that into practice with the right kind of coaching support and accountability along the way. Because and I we're really excited because we're also offering a scholarship, scholarship, scholarship opportunity that gives one woman the chance to participate completely free.

SPEAKER_01 23:15

Yeah, so to do to get uh access or to put yourself in with a chance for that scholarship, if you go to my scoring, I'm I'm croaky now, lighter fabulousbeyond40.com. And there's a when once you click on the apply button, a pop-up will come up. It will ask you a few questions about why you want to do it. This is not a prize draw, we're selecting the person we feel is going to benefit from it the most and wants it the most. So that person will get a free uh place and we'll announce that on Monday morning. So Monday is the 7th of September. So if you want to jump on for that, now is the time to do it. Also, anybody who's on that scholarship list will also get a special, special pre-access because we're only offering this to 20 women, and they will also get um preferential pricing as well. So if you're on that scholarship list, you will get both of those things. Um so if you've been thinking, listening today and thinking this is me, I know what to do, but I can't seem to keep doing it. Get yourself onto that wait list, apply for the scholarship. We'll put the details in the show notes, but once again, it's lighter.fabulousbeyond40.com.

SPEAKER_00 24:24

Yeah, because you don't need another diet, right? You already know how to lose weight. So we're here to help you actually do it.

SPEAKER_01 24:32

Yeah, so that's all we've got for this week. So we look forward to seeing you back here next week, which will be Thursday the 10th?

unknown 24:41

Correct.

SPEAKER_01 24:42

Yeah. 10th. Uh yeah. So scholarship for uh four weeks lighter. The applications for that end on Sunday evening. Monday we're announcing the winner. We'll see you on September the 18th when Four Weeks Lighter actually kicks off probably four weeks. Very few rules, two coaches right by your side, holding your hands all the way through. Here to notice when those really crap days come when something happens that you didn't want it to happen and help you get straight back on track. So, in the meantime, we've been coaches James and Julie from Fabulous Beyond 40, and we're always here to remind you to stay strong, stay fabulous, and we will see you next week. Take care.

SPEAKER_00 25:22

Bye, everybody.