SPEAKER_00 0:13

Hello and welcome back to Empower Your Menopause, the podcast all about health, happiness, and hormones for women 40 and beyond. I'm Coach Julie Medacy.

SPEAKER_01 0:23

And I'm Coach James Ellis.

SPEAKER_00 0:26

So the holiday season is here, and it's time to start with a little bit of visioning. So, you know, the office is full of chocolates that you nibble on all day, maybe there are tins of biscuits from well-meaning neighbors. Then you're out at a party where one glass of prosecco quietly turns into three. Not that I know anything about that. And by the time you get home, those biscuits or crisps in the kitchen don't stand a chance. You know exactly what you're doing, but you still feel dragged towards the cupboard by some powerful invisible force. We've all been there, right? I know I certainly have. So today we are going to talk about how to stop those menopause cravings without giving up chocolate, sweet, salty, and everything in between. We're not going to lecture you about diets, I promise. We're not going to shame you about your food choices or hand out good and bad lists, because we don't do that here. Instead, we're going to look at certain things like why cravings might get a bit louder in midlife. What different cravings might actually be pointing to, a simple cravings framework that actually works in real life, especially during the holidays, important time of year for that. And then some practical scripts and strategies that you can use to enjoy your favorite treats without feeling like you're completely out of control. Because, you know, Christmas is allowed to be fun and tasty. The holidays are supposed to be enjoyed. We just don't want you feeling wrecked, guilty, and bloated beyond recognition by January. So, James, let's start there. How can our listeners begin to decode their cravings so they can respond to them, you know, as information instead of some kind of moral failing?

SPEAKER_01 2:09

Well, I think first of all, the key thing is that they aren't a moral failing, right? They're bodily signals, not character flaws. So having cravings is totally normal. Most of them have them in some way, shape, or form. So you know they come from the systems that are there to keep us safe and energized. Things like blood sugar balance, you know, there's a natural reward system that we have where we want to have things that give us pleasure. There's the stress system, there are age-old habits. I've talked about this before, but you know, I've got habits that last back years and years and years from being an early from being a kid where I was soothed with sort of like or allowed to soothe myself with sort of like chocolate and crisps and pop and things like that. And then of course the environment as well. Now, the trouble with all this is that this natural sort of like backgrounds, all this where we all experience cravings, it's actually amplified if you're a woman over 40 and you're hitting midlife because those systems often get turned off or really turned right up. And why does that happen? Well, our good old friend estrogen, of course, is the underlying cause behind most of this. When estrogen starts to fall or it starts to play havoc during perimenopause and then goes on a like steady drop after the day of menopause, that affects something called insulin sensitivity. So insulin is the hormone that helps you balance your blood sugars, and it also helps with appetite regulation as well. And so that's affected by estrogen, and that means that your blood sugar is more prone to swings, and that gives you a stronger pull towards diving into that snapdraw and looking for some quick energy in the form of something that is highly combustible from an energy point of view, but also highly rewarding from a taste texture point of view as well. So that is one of the things. And you've got progesterone as well, that changes as well at this time of life, and that can influence all kinds of things, can influence your appetite, can influence fluid balance, and that can increase the want to you know dive into some kind of nibbling, even if your cycles are irregular or they're gone, progesterone is still playing a role in all that, and then of course, our good old friend. Let's come back to it once more because I don't think we've mentioned it for about three minutes at least. Stress during the menopause transition. So, obviously, higher baseline stress, right? Then you've got chronic sleep, you've got um you're trying to push things really, really hard all the time, and then that also pushes your body towards faster fuel and comfort foods as well. So, we've got two things now, then we've got that backdrop of the things that cravings are absolutely normal, we've got midlife that amplifies all those signals, and then of course, you've got the holidays. So, Christmas, New Year, if you're in America, you've just had Thanksgiving, all these kinds of things. There's a constant exposure to stuff that we didn't used to have in many years gone by. You know, food now is everywhere and it's everywhere and it's everywhere all the time, and it tends to be, particularly at this time of year, really ultra palatable. That means that we actually really enjoy them and like them, combinations of things like sugar, fat, and salt. So you've got that constant exposure. Layer on top, then social pressure, you know, the tray gets passed around, people comment and sort of like say something funny. If you say no, your glass is automatically topped up before you're even looking at it. And then the third thing that comes at this time of year as well is an emotional load. And if you those people who are members of our club Fabius Beyond 40, or if you do become a member of our club fibless beyond 40, we've got a whole training around coping with the emotional load of Christmas and the holidays because there is a big emotional load there, family stress, grief, loneliness, end-of-year pressure, all those things come into play as well. So cravings become the case at times of people wanting to cope rather than just being hungry. Okay. And then I suppose we also need to think about the whole idea of our thought processes, you know, how we think about these kinds of things. And often the stories that women tell themselves are absolutely negative around food. It's I've got no willpower, I've fallen off the wagon. My most hated phrase in the world since I became a health coach, or I'm being mapped bad. So you've got all that laid on on top as well. So I think it's worth remembering that you know, at the heart of all this, you're a human being with a brain that reacts very, very normally to food that's been engineered to make you enjoy it, that reacts normally to a stressful environment, and that reacts normally to this whole soup of midlife hormones that's going on. So, you know, let's normalize this absolutely. You're not broken, but you're gonna dive into a chocolate tin. Your brain, your hormones, your environment are doing exactly what they're designed to do, and unfortunately, that is pushing you towards that chocolate tin or the bag of crisps or whatever it may be. So, Julie, if those cravings are signals, how do we figure out exactly what they're asking for? And what do we do next if we don't feel it's right for us to submit to them?

SPEAKER_00 7:40

Well, it's it's great because we just happen to have a nice little framework here. We can call this our cravings compass, right? We're gonna look at where they're coming from and how to choose a response that might fit better. So a lot of times, if we just look at when is this happening, is it always in the morning that we need something to get us going? Is it that 3 p.m. crash, you know, mid-afternoon? Do you have to feel like you have to graze after dinner or those late-night fridge visits when you wake up in the middle of the night or just before you go to bed? Um, some of the things that can cause this are, you know, first of all, not having well-balanced meals. Maybe we have gaps that are too long between meals. I know we've talked before that you know, we've been told to graze all day long, which we know is not good for our blood sugar anyway, especially in midlife. But then we have the opposite effect, which is just waiting way too long between meals, so we're ravenous when we get the chance to eat. Maybe we haven't had enough protein or fiber to keep us feeling full. That puts us on a blood sugar roller coaster. And I know so many women who are trying to lose weight, undereat, and over-restrict, and then we refuse ourselves the pleasure of any of these things that we like to eat, which makes us more likely to binge on them later because we have a certain limit to our the amount of inner strength and willpower when the emotional brain takes over. So when when you can think about how these things come to pass for you and and identify some of those more regular patterns, it will help you understand and just become more aware of what's going on. Because once you're aware of how it's happening and when it's happening and why it's happening, then it helps us understand what we can do to change things. So the next thing to do would be figure out what exactly are you craving? Is it something sweet and soft, you know, like like you were saying, chocolate and ice cream and biscuits and those kinds of things? Are you more of a salty and crunchy person, like crisps and popcorn and crackers? Um, maybe you like things that are fatty, fatty and cheesy and carby. And I know a lot of people are all about carbs, right? Pizza, cheese boards, potatoes, that kind of thing. Or is it boozy and sweet alcoholic drinks? Um we can connect some of these cravings to specific things. And you know, this doesn't mean these are absolutes. We're not, you know, writing a horoscope here, but it's often common, for example, if you have a lot of sweets cravings, um, they're linked to blood sugar dips, or maybe they're linked to habit loops, um, especially if you're not eating enough real food throughout the day. Salty and crunchy cravings sometimes can show up when you're feeling stressed or frustrated or angry, and you want to just fight and crunch something, it resolves some of that tension. The things that are more creamy and fatty can often be about comfort and wanting to soothe that heaviness. It's like a hug from the inside, right? We're tired, we just want something that feels good. And alcohol cravings oftentimes are about just wanting to switch off because who doesn't feel that need once in a while, right? Not just liking the taste of alcohol, but we just want to switch off. So start to think, check in with yourself. There are a few questions you can say. You know, how am I feeling physically? Because I like to say there are different kinds of hunger. There's head hunger, there's heart hunger, and then there's physical hunger. You know, am I physically hungry? Am I tired? Am I wired, bored, lonely, stressed, sad? You know, what is the emotional thing that's going on? What is the physical thing that's going on? Maybe have a look back over the last hour or so. What's just happened in my life? Did I get a stressful email? Have I had an argument or a disagreement with somebody? Did I just finish a long meeting that felt like it was never going to end? Was it a social event? I know I I personally love social events, very social person, but I'm also very introverted. So I get really stressed sometimes if I'm too long at a social event. And when I come home, I'm like, I want to soothe myself with something, right? So I totally get that. It's normal. Um, and then again, ask yourself have I eaten enough real food today? Did I get enough protein? Did I get enough fiber? And then make that distinction. Is it physical hunger or is it something emotional or situational, which I call head hunger, like I'm bored, or I just need to distract myself. It's all valid, but they they need us to respond differently so that we can understand, you know, here's what's going on, here's how I can better meet my needs right now. So you can you can make this then, once you're aware and you make that connection, you can make this a conscious choice. Sometimes it's going to be yes, I'm eating the damn cookie, you know, and that's totally okay. Have it, be aware, don't judge, make it really, really good. Sit down to eat, put it on a nice plate or in a bowl and enjoy every single bite. Savor it and then get on with your life. Or maybe you want to swap it out for something else or upgrade it, right? You don't have to change the whole experience. But for example, if you're craving chocolate, don't just go for the cheap stuff that's in the vending machine. Have on hand a really nice quality of dark chocolate. Um, maybe have a smaller portion or pair it with something that's more protein dense, like nuts, that'll stave off that craving to eat the whole chocolate bar. You know, things like crisps and um crunchy, salty things, maybe buy them in individual bags. You're less likely to open more bags if you just have that controlled portion. You can have that, enjoy it, and move on instead of because I know I've been there, right? You open the big bag thinking I'm just gonna have some of these, and pretty soon it's gone. It's like, what happened? Um, and then boozy cravings maybe alternate with some sparkling water or have some alcohol-free nights. You know, in our house we have a no-school night uh drinking rule. Um, and and have your have your drink with a proper meal and not in an empty stomach. That helps tremendously because a lot of times if we have a drink before we've eaten, it can lower our resistance to making choices that are healthier for us. It can increase our cravings and mess with our blood sugar and and our brain. Um, if you feel like you're being driven by emotions, you're really stressed, try to do something else for a few minutes. Distract yourself, take a short walk, make a phone call, do some journaling, have a shower, you know, anything that doesn't involve food. And then if you still want the thing afterwards, you can go back again, make it that conscious decision, make it an upgraded option, and then you feel good about having made your choice. So don't be ashamed of these things. As James said, cravings are very, very normal. Build most of your day on meals that keep your energy steady. So plenty of protein, plenty of fiber, lots of plants, colorful foods. Movement is a great stress release valve and is good for helping to steady your blood sugar. And then again, watching your environment and those social contexts so you don't feel like you're constantly ambushed. So that's I think those are some good strategies. So, James, great. It's all well and good to think about this, right? When we're level-headed, I can be very logical about that. But what happens once we get in the middle of these situations and we haven't practiced first?

SPEAKER_01 15:56

Yeah, so I pre-prep prepped a few scenarios for this, for this to work through the compass framework that Julie just talked about in in the wild, if you like, right? So let's talk first of all, three or four scenarios. First one is the office chocolate tin. We've all been prone to that, right?

SPEAKER_00 16:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 16:17

There it is, the tin's on the desk, or it's in the staff room, and people are dipping into it all day, and you're tempted to go through it. And you typically, with these kinds of things, tend to get what I call a thought spiral. So you say to yourself, Well, it's been I've been good, I'll just have the one. But then, of course, once you have the one, that spiral is I've ruined it now, so I might as well keep going. So, this is a perfect example of the cravings compass in action. So, when does this tend to happen? Well, it's usually mid-morning or mid-afternoon, right? We tend to hit those little bits of energy lulls at those times, particularly if we flip back to what you talked about before, Julian. Somebody's not eaten enough for either breakfast or lunch, then you tend to get that energy dip mid-afternoon. What does it tend to be? It tends to be something sweet, something easy to grab. And why are we doing it? Well, that underfueling comes into play, the peer pressure comes into play, a bit of stress might come into play because you're actually in the office, even procrastination might come into play. You know, that whole idea of it's okay, I can pick it up again tomorrow, or whatever it may be, or next week, or whenever it's next to blue moon on a Sunday. So, what do you need to do to work this through then? So, here are a couple of choices that you could do. First of all, make it a conscious yes, yeah, choose your favourite thing out of all those things, take it back to your desk, eat it slowly, eat it mindfully, really, really enjoy it, and then carry on. Oftentimes, if we allow ourselves to sit down and enjoy something rather than eating it out of the back of our hand as though it's some kind of sort of like naughty secret that we're we're we're doing, it is much much easier to feel satisfied with that, we're not tempted to go back. Um, if you want to choose the upgrade option, it might be a good idea to keep a couple of protein-based snacks around, like just in your top drawer, or shock horror, if you can convince them if your co-workers to do it, even have some of those in the actual snack tin itself, right? So then you can have something protein-based, maybe some jerky, maybe some nuts or something like that. Pair it with something chocolate, you've got something more sustaining there as well. And then, of course, the other thing is changing the environment. Classic story, I tell it all the time about my friend who's an office friend and client who's an office worker, and they were challenged by the fact that the snack bowl was between them and the fruit bowl. Once they swapped those two positions around, it was much much easier for them to just grab the fruit because it was the first thing they got to when they were feeling some kind of a craving, rather than grabbing some chocolate out of the snack roll. So move that chocolate tin if need be, move it further away from you and put something else closer to you that you might enjoy instead. So that's your sort of like office chocolate tin one. We said that 3 pm is a real biggie, so let's talk specifically. 3 pm crash, you know. You're either in the school run, you're in the middle of meetings in the afternoon, you're running errands, you hit the slump, and you head straight for biscuits or crisps. So, what could some of the drivers be with this? That long gap between lunch and this happening, if we particularly if we've uh under-eaten. Low protein can be another one. Protein tends to keep us fuller for longer, and then of course, higher stress. Those times around three o'clock tends to also be a bit of a stressy time. You know, the work day is coming to its end, you're rushing around to get pick the kids up from school, whatever it may be. So, some actions to think about plan a proper afternoon snack, have that in your planned meals for the week, you know, something with protein in it, something with fibre in it, so it's gonna keep you fuller for longer. So if you've planned for that 3 pm slump, it's much easier to grab the thing you've planned for than it is to go out and seek chocolate, crisp, whatever it might be. From a sort of like mindset point of view, ditch all or nothing when it comes to thinking about these kind of things. One snack is not going to ruin your day if you do end up succumbing, right? And then maybe think about doing something else instead. If you can and you've got the capability and the time to do it, you know, get up, walk, walk around, pop to the bathroom and pop ten squats or something, something to take your mind off the fact that you've actually got this sort of like craving coming on. So that's three o'clock in the afternoon. Let's move on to the evening, which is where most people tend to fall down, right? Evening, wine, nibbles, those kind of things. You know, it gets to the end of a long day, it's got the kids to bed, with work days finished, you're watching some TV or a show with your partner, whatever it may be, you think, right, let's just crack a bottle of wine and have a glass and maybe a few crisps, chips, popcorn, whatever it might be. But somehow that bottle miraculously evaporates, usually via your own mouth, and the bowl keeps refilling itself. So some of the drivers here are going to be stress relief, wanting to switch off social patterns, we condition ourselves to do these kind of things. So some actions that you could take. Decide in advance. Julie was just saying which nights are your drink nights and which not. Can you keep them to like a Friday and Saturday night? Have at least one glass of water between your drinks. So you're spacing them out with something between them. Pay the alcohol with the meal rather than just having some nibbles, because I tend to find that is a real Sort of like driver for setting those things off. And if the craving is mainly for sort of like switching off, maybe try thinking about something non-alcohol based on some nights that you could do at that particular time. It could be a little bit of stretching, it could be a hot bath, it could be a hot drink, something that helps you relieve the stress, allows you to switch off without it actually being alcohol-based, and then hopefully without the alcohol to weaken willpower, you know, the snacks stop following. And then lastly, let's talk about leftovers and grazing days. You know, the day after that big holiday meal where you tend to spend most of the day flat out on the couch nibbling, grazing away rather than eating some actual proper meals. So the drivers are, of course, now food is everywhere, right? It's really easy to get because um it's already been prepped in a way, you're just grabbing cold cuts from the fridge, or you're grabbing whatever's been left in the bowl from the day before. Um you might also be slightly hung over if it's the day after a big social event, and you might just actually be tired. So instead of just going and grabbing and grabbing and grabbing, actually plate some of those leftovers and turn them into a proper proper meal so you're not constantly picking. Make sure you're including two different two different things. One is some protein, second thing is something fresh on each plate, a little bit of salad, a bit of chopped apple, something along those lines, yeah. And then if you are gonna delve into those desserts that are left, you know, the Christmas pudding or the apple pie from the day before or whatever, decide that you can have one, you're gonna have that one time during the day rather than that all day picking. So, yeah, you can definitely have chocolate crisps, some dressing on your salad, whatever it may be, and all those different trimmings. The point is to try and make it a conscious choice rather than feeling dragged around by all your craving and then beating yourself up afterwards. So, Julie, let's round this off then by building a craving plan, uh a craving plan our listeners can actually live with on a day-to-day basis.

SPEAKER_00 24:18

Yeah, and this is important because it's great to have all these random tips everywhere, but until you actually put a personal plan together that works for your day, for your life, for your personal situation, it's not going to help you very much. So it's about taking action, right? The first thing, again, bring some awareness into the picture here. See if you can name your most challenging parts of the day or week or season, whatever that might be. So pick maybe one particular situation that causes you the most stress. Is it your evenings? Is it the office? Is it Friday wine? Is it weekends? You know, what where do you struggle the most? And then put the cravings compass, you know, into um into action. When does it happen? What do you reach for? What's going on around you? Find those points, and then you can choose one upgrade to practice. And do this for the next week because especially we're still early in December while this um episode is airing, it gives you a chance to practice before you get really get into the throes of the holiday season. So for the next week, maybe add 15 or 20 grams of protein to your breakfast, and that'll help steady out your energy and your cravings through the morning, or plan that afternoon snack, as James was saying, so you don't have to wait until after you've crashed and you feel more desperate. Get in front of it, right? Or make a rule for yourself that a flexible rule, of course, because we don't like absolutes, um, but that chocolate maybe is always eaten sitting down and on a plate, not standing at the cupboard. Choose some alcohol-free nights until Christmas week or whenever the parties are starting for you. The idea is to make it kind for yourself and make it realistic. It's we you know, we hear all the time, I'm never again. I refuse to allow myself. I mean, if it sounds miserable, who's going to do it, right? So scale it back to one small simple thing that you can do. And and we can look at this because you know we operate on our four pillars of think, eat, move, and live. So tie it into one of those pillars that means the most for you, right? Give yourself permission, stop feeling guilty. That would be your mindset. Eating, make sure you get protein at all your meals. Think of real food first before you dive into the other stuff. Um, a lot of times we just don't want the other stuff once we're feeling physically satisfied. Make sure you use movement when you need energy, when you want to manage your stress. Don't look at that as punishment, especially this month. It's not, you're not exercising to earn food or to burn off something that you did. You're exercising because your body craves movement. And when you're looking at your general lifestyle, setting boundaries around events, don't go to them because you feel obligated, go to the ones you really want to go to. It's perfectly okay to say no, thank you. Um, keep yourself set boundaries around the people you don't necessarily want to spend time with, if that's possible, and environments that make all of this harder for yourself. So hopefully we've driven this message home. Um, would you want to wrap things up, James?

SPEAKER_01 27:44

Sure. So just to recap everything then. First of all, you're not imagining it. Cravings often do get stronger in peri and post-menopause, especially under stress and especially during the holidays. You're not greedy or broken, your body's trying to cope with a really loud environment and shifting hormones. So that is tough, right? Let's acknowledge that. Um, you don't have to earn your food or pay for it later with loads of exercise to burn it all off. You know, let's be realistic about things. And making one choice at a time is enough. Even small upgrades, if they're repeated, they'll change how you feel in January. So let this be the year that you can enjoy, or actually, let next year be the food, the year that you can enjoy the food and company without spending the whole month stuck in guilt and restriction spiral. Um, so just to round things off, then what we've talked about as well cravings of information, it's not proof of failure. That cravings compass that Julie talked about is going to help you decode them, and you can build a syllabic simple cravings plan just by targeting one tricky time this week. So go away and take an action from this. Don't just listen to us going on about all the time. Pick your main craving time, apply one small change using the cravings compass, and then just see if there's a change. Because what is all this if it's not an experiment after all? So if you want to pop into our Facebook group, Fabulous Beyond40, uh, we'll put the link in the in the show notes. You can share your main craving time in your tweak in there with us, and we'll comment on it and give you some feedback. Listen out for our next blog, an email that's coming on sweet, salty, crunchy, and boozy cravings that Julie's in the process of putting together. And don't forget that if you need some support, we are here to help you with our menopause impact assessment. Just as a reminder, that's a validated symptom tool that Julie and I will use with you in personal over the course of a 45-minute coaching call. We'll give you a menopause symptom score that you can then use the benchmark for moving forward, and then we'll talk to you about three different areas where you want to get to, what's working right now, and then what's not working, and then we'll step in there with some advice for you. So you've got a plan to go away with things to help you manage either your symptoms or whatever maybe challenge you around the menopause transition, including your cravings. So we'll have a link to that in the show notes. That's it, I think, for this week. Julie, do you want to say your goodbyes?

SPEAKER_00 30:25

Yeah, looking forward to seeing you in the next episode. Please make sure to like and share and subscribe where possible because we would love to continue to build our community and get the message out everywhere that we can. So thanks for joining us. And until next time, stay strong and stay fabulous.